Unless he owns a Major League Baseball team, or founded an internet search engine, his available funds probably took a big hit with the divorce’s legal fees and the ongoing alimony and child support.
This man may to take you to the finest restaurants, whisk you a way to an elegant bed and breakfast for the weekend, or dress you in jewels, but in some cases his bank account won’t allow these kinds of activities right now.
But if you are considering him as possible life-partner, it’s good to know what you’re getting into, so you can decide, very consciously, whether you want to wade into deeper levels of commitment with him.
You probably have a million questions on your mind. With that said, if you meet someone you’re really attracted to, but the ink on his divorce papers hasn’t yet had time to dry, you are going to need to approach some things differently if you want to minimize the risk of getting your heart broken.
He may need to communicate with his ex because even if the divorce is final, they might have other things to work out like childcare, or questions and issues about the property they co-owned.
But knowing if they still communicate, and why, will help you manage your own expectations about your relationship with him.
You have to acknowledge and be aware of the facts of the relationship, such as his availability when it comes to his caring for the kids, his financial obligations to his ex (if any), and where he is right now with his emotional readiness to date other people.
If you go into your relationship hoping for spontaneous weekend trips to Cabo or Vegas, but his weekends are about shuttling his daughters to music lessons, soccer practice or helping with a science project, you will be disappointed. And with regard to his readiness to date other people, be aware of, or to try to, discern whether he just wants to date for fun right now or if he is looking to date with the intention of finding a long-term partner.